Thank You!

I want to thank you for becoming such a good friend. I honestly don't know why you have stuck around. I know I don't deserve your friendship. I know there have been times when I said too much or did too much. Went to far and pushed the limits to much. I am really sorry. I took you for granted. I gained your trust and then used it to hurt you. I feel like shit for doing it. I hope in the end you can forgive me for it. You have been the one who I have come to for that listening ear. You have put up with my bitching and complaining. Sometimes just about small stupid stuff, but you have never told me to shut up or stop whining. You always just listen to what ever I have to say. Consider yourself lucky that you only see me once a week. But I look forward to that one day with you. In a way you bring me hope.  You have given me such great advice. You have sided with me when I was right and scolded me when I was wrong. But most importantly you have always given me the truth. I have never ask how you are doing or if this is too much for you. I kind of just threw this all upon you and never asked if it was okay. Just tell me to stop if it becomes to much. Things are going to get a lot tougher and it is good to know that you will always be there to take the plastic bag of my head.

Way back when

While cleaning up my room today I came across one of my old toys and it got me thinking about all the cool toys I grew up with. None of the fancy high tech toys that the kids grow up with today. They were for the most part simple and made to last. So hear is a little trip back to my childhood. Back to the eighties and early nighties.

That there is my buddy Tank Ant. He is the meanest ant you will ever come across. He has fought in many epic battles. A never ending war between blue and orange. Army Ants use to litter my room. I would set them up in different scenarios on a weekly basis. Always blue on one half of my room and orange on the other half. The battles went on and on throughout the years. Slowly the soldiers would disappear until today when all who remains is this guy. I always knew he would come out on top. He was my favourite from day one.

So much has changed since I was a kid. From T.V. to toys to video games. I remember how excited I would get when Fraggle Rock came on. My dad and I would watch it every night before I went to bed. Sometimes I think he liked it more than I did. Long before there was Spongebob and computer animation there was He-man and Transformers. And not the Transformers of today. As much as I love today's movies, nothing beats the original animated T.V. series.  Back when Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf were still in diapers the voices were done by the likes of stars such as Leonard Nimoy, Robert Stack and Orson Welles. Back then BubbleBee was a punch bug and SoundWave was a cassette player. 

SoundWave has always been my favourite Transformer. Just the whole idea of him being the ultimate spy. Sending out his cassettes Laserbeak and Ratbat to gather intel on the Autobots. He was cool in every way. From his distinctive monotone computerized voice to his shoulder mounted radio wave sensor. I have always been a fan of the Decepticons. I think I'm just a bad boy at heart.







Wrestling was huge when I was little. The WWF was filled with a whole different breed of wrestler. They were every little boys hero. It wasn't so much about the smoke and mirrors like it is today. It was about characters who became larger than life. Who always remembered that the wrestling came first. Today's wrestlers spend to much time being flashy and in your face. Sometimes simple is better. Wrestling is an art and none did it better than The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. He was the one whom I emulated, looked up to and wished I was. He was a bad guy with money and who always had a hot girl with him. How could you not love him! I mastered his signature move the million dollar dream and put it to good use on the playground at school. I gave many kids money bag dreams.

From Garbage Pail Kids to Mucscle Men to Battle Beasts. Toys were great back then. How I wish I could go back in time and get lost in my childhood. A simpler time when Nintendo was what every boy dreamed for. The hours wasted  playing Duck Hunt, Zelda and Mike Tyson's Knockout seem like distance memories now. All the games of wiffle ball baseball at the daycare. Those were great times with great friends. I still remember the day I hit the ball over the houses. A true moon shot that made me feel for a second like I was Babe Ruth.

I could really use a hot tub time machine right about now. 

Losers

"The only loser is the one who doesn't show up to play"

Somebody To Love

That's right JB. He's my man. What a great day. Working with my favourite baker, rocking out to Bieber. Just goofing around and having a great time. It was perfect today. Snow falling outside creating a picturesque back drop to the day. Cold outside yet nice and warm inside. Days like today make being a baker worth it. Today I love my job.

Burntout!

All I wanted was to get a couple extra hours of sleep but you can't even help me out. Who cares if you have a poker game, give me a rest. You hardly even work any more. Every time you "injure" yourself and ask for a day off we make it work. It's time you started repaying the favours.

I'm tired of carrying everyone. You all jump on my back and get a free ride. Slack off and not pull your weight because you know I am there to pick up the slack. Well I'm not doing it anymore. Stop being lazy and start working. I'm done with your sorry excuses. I have way more to complain about then any of you, but not once have I complained. I come to work on time and work my ass off. No matter how tired, how sick or how much pain I am in.

Trust me when I say this. None of you know what true pain is. What it's like to be in constant pain every second of every day. So suck it up and be men.

Lest we forget.

There you are in your uniform. A young brave officer. A mere 17 years old. It's hard to imagine that you enlisted when you were only 15 years old. Having to lie about your age. That has to be the most important lie you ever had to tell in your life. I can only imagine how you came up with the decision to go off to war. When I was 15 I thought I had tough choices to make but I know I would have never been able to make the choice to go off to war. I was never brave enough to go save the world. I admire you so much for making that choice. I don't know a whole lot about what led to your decision. It was to save your older brother from having to go to war. That in itself shows great courage. Looking out for your big brother. Sacrificing yourself to save him. It was also a way to escape the farm. It was your means of getting away from a life you didn't like. I'm sure you had no idea of the life you would soon learn.

I never had the opportunity to get to know you when you were alive. You died when I was so young. It saddens me to say that the only memory I have of you is visiting you in the hospital. I only got to meet the frail sick version of you. Not the strong brave version that gave so much in service for your country. How I wish that I could turn back the hands of time to have one day with you. One day to really get to know the grandfather that I believe I share so much in common with. As I look at your picture I can see how much I resemble you, but i think it goes further than just looks. I think you passed along a lot of your personality to me. And I hope that I was able to take some of your courage and bravery.

I found out today that you made it all the way to Germany. You were kicking on Hitler's door when something went wrong. I have heard that it was a land mine but all I know for sure is that you left your leg on the battlefield. You made it so far into enemy territory. You fought hard for what you believed was right. Stopping the injustices of a mad man. And you did it. You claimed victory!

I am so grateful for what you did. You made a choice at 15 that forever changed the course of history. I sit here today writing this because of you. Because of your bravery, your heart and your determination. I am so proud of you.

Charles Arthur Shaw I am honored to call you my Grandfather.

I love you!

Happy Birthday!

There you go. That is the last time I will ever say it to you. This is the official end of our friendship, although it has been over for awhile now. Almost 16 years to the day we met it is all done.

I know you blame me for all of this. For the crumbling of the friendship and to be honest I really don't care. If you need to put the blame all on me to make yourself feel good then go right ahead, it doesn't make a difference to me. You can go on and on all you want about how I took advantage of you and I don't care. I know the truth. Not even that I know the truth I can see and admit the truth. Yes I fucked up and didn't pay you back on time. That is my mistake and I have nobody to blame but myself. But if you think that is the only reason why this ended than you are kidding yourself.

Go ahead claim that you are the worlds greatest friend. Say it all you want, but remember that it is self proclaimed. I hate to burst your bubble but the reality is you might be the worlds worst friend. Okay well that might be a little to harsh. I will admit that you had your good moments, but in the end you let our friendship be determined by something so petty. MONEY! That's really all you care about. All that is important to you. It is how you define everything in life. Including happiness and friendship.

So before I go on and rip you and show how pathetic you really are I will give you your due. Yes you took me to New York and i am very grateful for that. Now let me ask you this. Is that what makes you such a great friend?

Friendship is a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of the other, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each other feelings.

That is the definition of friendship. When you read that it makes it sound like something so special, something that is priceless. Something we never had. Well at least not from your end. That's how I saw our friendship. That's how I tried to treat you. I put your welfare above my own so many times, but looking back I can't say you ever did for me. 

What did you ever do for me? When were you ever there for me? Other than helping me out financially? Lets take a look back. How many times have you eaten at my house? Gone out for dinner with my family, or to the movies, football games, hockey games and even a couple of basketball games? Now how many times have I eaten at your house? I never have. Nor have I ever been out with your family, I haven't even been invited. Think about all the times you would come over late cause you needed to talk and I would stay up all night long listening to you bitch and complain. Offering you help and advice. Even when I had to go to work at 2am. All those nights I didn't get any sleep because you needed me. Not once did I ever complain. When you had your ordeal at work I was there for you every step of the way. I gave you so much advice that you never listened too. That you just shrugged off like I was dumb and didn't know what I was talking about. Turns out I was right and if you had only listened to me you wouldn't have been in this whole mess in the first place. But despite you not trusting me I still opened my home and family to you. We took you in and treated you like part of the family. We shared our Christmas with you and I let you take over my room for a week.  I could go on but I think you get the picture.

The last time we spoke you blew up on me. Yelling and trying to act all mad and tough. In reality you were lame. It was laughable. You went on and on abut how pathetic I was. How I have no friends and no education. I think that is a joke coming from you. How many pieces of paper do you have? Two and what has that gotten you? Nothing! You are at a job you hate that isn't what you want to be doing yet you don't have the balls to leave. I love my job, I love what I do. It may never make me rich but I am happy. I am happy with my life and happy with my true friends. I wouldn't change any of it. So go look in the mirror and see who is really the pathetic one. Reality sucks eh!

Perfection

"If practice makes perfect, but nobody is perfect. Then what's the point of practicing?"

That's my own quote, one I am proud to claim. I know at first glance it doesn't inspire you. But if you see it as a negative then you are missing the point. Practice is important but it isn't everything. Striving to for perfection is a waste of time. Nobody will ever be perfect and if you get caught up in working towards something that you will never achieve, then you are missing out on what is important. Giving it your all, leaving nothing behind and knowing you did everything you can is what matters. You see I know I will never be perfect. I won't even get close to it. But I am fine with that because I know in everything I do I did my best. And yes sometimes my best doesn't win me the big prize or get the fame and glory. But I am happy. I have everything I need and I would rather spend my time living my life, being happy and having fun. Being with the ones I love is worth more than any gold medal, or a big ugly trophy. Better than any bragging rights. So go ahead waste your time in the gym, on the field or the playing surface of your choice. Spend your days off getting up early slaving away to try and get that perfect product. It's never going to come. You will only disappoint yourself in the end. Sure you may get to holdup the trophy. Be my guest and flaunt it in my face all you want. But in the end you are the loser. I am the one who spent my time doing what really matters. Living my life and loving the ones around me. To me that is the ultimate prize. 

But if you think I won't show up ready to battle then you are kidding yourself. I will be there guns blazing giving it everything I have and leaving no regrets. What separates you from me is that if I lose its not the end of the world. I will move on without hesitation and at the end of the day I will have people around me that love me trophy in hand or not.

Deception

The more we deceive ourselves the better we can deceive others.