Ahhhhhh!

I just want these photos in my blog. I think they are beautiful. This is my space shuttle as it floats up the Hudson river towards its final home. A barge, a tug boat and a space shuttle. I am in heaven and it only gets better as he gets loaded onto the deck of an aircraft carrier.

I want this so bad. I want to look out my window and see the Intrepid parked in the creek behind my house with the Enterprise waiting on deck for me. I will sail the oceans of the world and take off and fly to planets far off in space. But until then I will have to be okay with going to New York to see these boys together.

Playlist from the past

So I took a trip down memory lane this morning. I was looking for song on iTunes and for some reason I gravitated to the songs from my teenage years. You don't realize all the emotions and memories that are stored in a song. Some that you have totally forgot about but as soon as the song starts playing it all comes rushing back to you. Every little detail from the smells around you to the state of mind you where in. You don't remember years but periods in your life. Like how "Can you feel the love tonight" takes me back to the summer between elementary school and high school. Or how "Waterfalls" reminds me of summer days spent at Spanish Banks with my friend and his family. Now all the songs of my past are on my iPod ready to take me back in time whenever I need.

When life gives you lemons, make lemon drops

So it has been a stressful week to say the least. But today is the beginning of a new week and I will keep moving forward. I can't change what has happened but I can change what will become of it. Am I scared? Honestly no because no matter what happens I have my family and friends to help carry me through. Just like Annie said the sun will come out tomorrow. Maybe not here but somewhere and I just have to go out and find it. Sounds like a challenge but challenges make life interesting. Routine gets boring and maybe this is my kick in the pants to challenge myself again.

The weak become strong

Living with a disability isn't fun. It makes every second of everyday a struggle. It ravishes your body with pain that the strongest of pills can only dull at best. I have fought every day to do the simplest of things that you all take for granted. I am at constant war with my body. Every step I take every thing I do takes every ounce of concentration I have. Nothing comes easy for me. There is no feeling of natural. Every movement of my body is awkward and a constant reminder that I'm different, that I'm not "normal." But for my whole life I have tried to fit in and be just another face in the crowd. I have learned how to blend in and not draw attention to myself because I learned very early that it only brings bad attention. The looks, the whispers and the pointing. The constant ridicule and talking down to as if I were somehow less of a human. Years of practice has given me the ability to hide my disability. To fool everyone I come in contact with. I have become so adapt at my craft that even my doctors have a hard time believing. I didn't do this because I am ashamed of who and what I am. I did it so I could survive in this world. I did it so I would be afforded every opportunity that anyone else would be. I am proud of who I am and everything I have accomplished. I never let people pity me. I am everything I am today because I had to work ten times as hard as anyone else to get it. And I have to continue to work harder than anyone else just to maintain what I have achieved.

A strong mind can carry a weak body.